Found an old letter to my college roommate while cleaning out a box

I was cleaning out a box in the attic yesterday, stuff from maybe 2008, and I found a folded piece of notebook paper. It was a letter I wrote to my old roommate, Sam, after a huge fight about a borrowed sweater that never came back. I never gave it to her. Reading it now, the whole thing feels so small, but the words I wrote were so big and serious. We stopped talking after that school year, just drifted apart. The weird part is, seeing my own handwriting from back then, I felt that old hot shame in my chest all over again, even though it's been fifteen years. I guess I'm sorry I cared more about being right than about our friendship. Has anyone else found something like this, something that brought back a feeling you thought was long gone?

4 comments

4 Comments

jason_lewis32mo ago

Ever find an old yearbook? My buddy did, and there was a note from a girl he had a huge crush on. He said reading her nice words about him made him feel like a total jerk for never asking her out. He just stared at it for like ten minutes.

reed.elliot2mo ago

Maybe he dodged a bullet, who knows how it would have turned out?

olivia_moore1mo ago

Man, that "stared at it for like ten minutes" part hits hard. I found an old note from my high school girlfriend a few years back, and it messed me up for a whole afternoon. What finally helped was calling up an old friend from back then and just talking about that time. Hearing someone else remember her, and that whole period, made it feel less like a personal regret and more like just... life, you know? It didn't fix the feeling, but it made it easier to sit with.

sandraf982mo ago

Ever find an old birthday card? I found one from my grandma and just started crying right there in my living room (it was the sweet, simple way she wrote my name that got me).