The day I stopped apologizing for how I left the voicemail

I used to call my mom every Sunday and leave these rambling voicemails, then I'd text her apologizing for the length. Last month, I listened to one of my old voicemails from 2018 and realized I was apologizing for just talking like a normal person. What tipped me off was when my sister said 'Mom loves your voicemails, she replays them when she misses you.' That hit me hard because I had spent years thinking I was annoying her with all the details about my day and the cat. Now I see that my constant 'sorry for the long message' was actually undermining the connection I was trying to make. Has anyone else had that moment where you realized you were apologizing for just being yourself in a relationship?

3 comments

3 Comments

the_thea1mo ago

Listen to your own voicemails back.

joel_jones1mo ago

Damn, your sister just dropping that on you like it was nothing. That's wild. My mom keeps every voicemail I've ever left her on her old flip phone, still. She told me once she plays them back when she can't sleep and I almost dropped the phone. Made me realize all those times I was apologizing for talking too long or rambling about stupid stuff from work, she was probably just happy to hear my voice. Kinda makes you wonder how many other times we're being too hard on ourselves for no reason.

laura_schmidt821mo ago

Wow, that really gets you thinking, doesn't it? It's funny how we spend so much time worrying about saying the wrong thing or being a bother, when really the people who love us just want to hear from us. I think about all the times I've hung up the phone feeling bad for talking too long about something silly, and now I realize my mom probably felt the same way as your mom. She never said anything, but I bet she was just glad I called. Makes me want to be more careful about beating myself up over small stuff like that.