Unpopular opinion: sending that apology letter to my ex was selfish, not brave

Everyone in this sub talks about how sending an apology letter is healing, but I think it is often just about making yourself feel better. I wrote a 3 page letter to my ex from college in Ohio last month, apologizing for how I ended things. I almost sent it until my current girlfriend pointed out I was just reopening old wounds for them. Has anyone else held back a letter because you realized it would help you more than them?

3 comments

3 Comments

allen.kai12d ago

My buddy Mike sent a 4 page letter to his high school ex 6 years after they broke up and she actually thanked him for it because it gave her closure she never got. Sometimes the other person really does need that apology to move on, even if it stirs things up at first. If you were genuinely toxic or ghosted them back then, owning that can be a gift to them not just a ego boost for you.

max_torres4412d ago

Jumped at the chance to do this myself a few years back and reached out to someone I treated badly in high school... @allen.kai ain't kidding, it's scary but worth it. She told me it helped her understand why things ended and she could finally let it go. Sometimes you just gotta swallow your pride and admit you were a jerk, feels better than you'd think.

milarodriguez12d ago

Is it just me or is this whole thing kinda like when people post those vague "sorry for how I acted" Facebook statuses? Feels like everyone wants to feel good about themselves instead of thinking about who they're actually talking to.