Why does nobody talk about writing apology letters to YOURSELF

I spent 6 months hating myself for screwing up a friendship over something stupid I said at a bar in Austin. One night after a shift I wrote an apology letter to myself forgiving my own dumb mistake instead of to the other person, and it actually let me move on. Has anyone else tried turning the apology inward when the other person won't accept it or isn't around anymore?

3 comments

3 Comments

diana61713d ago

Do you really think writing a letter to yourself does the same thing as owning up to the other person? I get that you needed to move on, but to me, an apology is about the person you hurt, not just your own peace. When I messed up with my old roommate, I had to face her and admit I was wrong, even though it was hard. Writing to yourself might feel good in the moment, but it feels like skipping the real work of making things right.

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vera_lewis213d ago

Yeah, you've actually got a point. Used to think a self letter was enough, but hearing you put it that way makes me realize it's more about facing the person you wronged. Do you think it's ever okay to skip that step if reaching out would do more harm than good?

avery21912d ago

I get what you're saying @diana617, but I honestly think there ARE times where a self letter is the BEST option. What if the other person passed away or has made it crystal clear they don't want to hear from you? Sometimes you CAN'T face someone without making things WORSE. An apology is about the person you hurt for SURE, but when that door is slammed shut, you gotta find SOME way to process it. It's not about skipping work, it's about working with what you've got.