I disagree with the popular take that you should always apologize right away after a fight

Everyone always says to apologize immediately to keep the peace, but last March I had a blowup with my sister in the car on I-75 near Atlanta. I was so mad I couldn't even talk, so I just drove us home in silence for 45 minutes. The next day I left a voicemail saying I needed space before we talked. She called back three days later and we actually worked through the real issue, which was her not including me in wedding planning details. That delayed apology gave us both time to cool off and think straight. Has anyone else found that waiting to apologize actually helped more than jumping in right away?

3 comments

3 Comments

grantp148d ago

My sister and I had a similar thing happen two years ago over her not telling me she was moving out of state, and yeah the three day pause let us actually get past the surface stuff. Seems like sometimes the fast apology just covers over the real problem instead of fixing it.

west.richard7d ago

Buddy of mine had the same thing with his brother over a wedding invite. He was gonna fire off a text right away but waited a few days, turns out the real issue was way deeper than just the invite. The pause saved that relationship, I swear.

ruby_henderson366d ago

Oh come on, I get why people say that but sometimes a quick sorry IS fixing the problem. Not every fight has some hidden deep meaning behind it, sometimes you just said something dumb and need to own it fast. Waiting three days can actually make things worse if the other person thinks you're ignoring them or don't care enough to respond.