Found out 3 years ago my "happy face" at work was just exhausting me more

Last week I realized I've been nodding and smiling through meetings where I hate half the decisions being made. Three years ago I started this job and told myself I just needed to keep things positive and not rock the boat. But last Tuesday I sat in a 2 hour planning session and felt totally drained afterward, not from the work but from pretending everything was fine. The funny thing is, my boss told me I seem like a team player, but inside I'm screaming about bad deadlines nobody asked for. Has anyone else hit that point where the mask just feels heavier one random day?

2 comments

2 Comments

the_anthony11h ago

Man that hit hard because I've been there too. It's like one day you just notice the weight of keeping that smile on and it wipes you out for the rest of the day. Three years is a long time to hold that mask up, no wonder you hit a wall. Your brain was doing double duty the whole time, keeping your face happy while your real feelings were sitting in the back seat shouting. That meeting drain isn't just from the work, it's from the act you're putting on the whole time. Hope you find a way to let some of that real stuff out, even if it's just to one person you trust there.

finley_gonzalez4920h ago

Oh man I actually just listened to a podcast about this thing called "emotional labor" and it totally clicked for me lol. They said smiling through things you don't agree with uses up way more energy than just being real about it. Sounds like your brain was running a marathon while your face was on autopilot.