I finally noticed the difference in my dad's voice after 6 months of no visits

He always sounds so upbeat on the phone, saying everything's fine and he's keeping busy. But I drove down to Tucson last weekend and saw the empty fridge, the unopened mail pile, and that look he gets when he thinks I'm not looking. Took me 6 months to realize his 'I'm good' really means 'I'm lonely but I don't want to be a burden'. Has anyone else caught a parent hiding stuff like this behind their cheerful voice?

3 comments

3 Comments

avery21920d ago

Did you check if he's been eating at all, or just skipping meals?

sandra_bennett5920d ago

Oh boy, yeah I checked. He's been "eating" if you count staring at his plate for ten minutes and then pushing it around like he's making abstract art. I swear the only thing that goes in his mouth is coffee and sighs. I asked him if he wanted a sandwich yesterday and he looked at me like I offered him a plate of spiders. At this point I'm half convinced he's running on pure spite and caffeine. Maybe I should start leaving snacks in his path like breadcrumbs. But knowing him he'd probably just trip over them.

wren63820d ago

Oh man, that abstract art description is too real! @avery219 I think this is part of a bigger thing where people stop caring about basic stuff when they're stressed. It's like their brain decides food and sleep are optional extras. I've seen it with friends who get super focused on work or a problem they're trying to fix. They'll just forget to eat because their mind is too busy spinning. Maybe try putting a plate of something easy in front of him and walking away, no pressure. Sometimes the act of having it there is enough to break the spell.