ray356•2mo ago

My aunt told me to just smile through my mom's funeral

She said it would make things easier for everyone else. I did it, and for three hours I shook hands and nodded while my chest felt like it was full of glass. Now I can't even look at the photos from that day without feeling sick. Has anyone else had a piece of 'good' advice that just made the hurt worse later on?

4 comments

4 Comments

emma_flores2mo ago

Honestly, sometimes the fake smile is a tool. It gets you through the public part when you just can't fall apart. The photos might feel bad now, but they show you holding it together for your family when they needed that. Bottling things up for a few hours isn't the same as never dealing with it.

the_lee2mo agoMost Upvoted

Ugh, my friend's dad said that too, @the_alice.

simonp7628d ago

Funny thing about advice like that, my grandma used to tell me to "put on a happy face" whenever I was upset about anything (which always made me madder honestly). Reminds me of @the_lee's friend's dad situation, because it's like the older generation thinks a smile is a band-aid for everything. Smiling through the grief just makes the photos a permanent reminder of pretending, not of actually honoring the person you lost. Your aunt probably meant well, but that kind of advice is like trying to hold a beach ball underwater - it's gonna pop up somewhere eventually.

the_alice2mo ago

Smile through it" advice is the worst. It just bottles everything up to explode later. That fake smile in the photos must feel like a lie now.