My mom's birthday party made me see my smile was a wall.
I was laughing with my cousins, holding a piece of cake. My mom looked at me and said, 'You seem so peaceful.' That's when I knew. The smile felt like a mask stuck on my face. I was just going through the motions to make the day good for her. Has anyone else had a moment like that, where a kind comment showed you how fake you were being?
Consider how often we get praised for hiding our real feelings. That calm face at work is just a mask we wear to get through the day. Makes you wonder who we're really performing for.
My boss told me I was handling a crisis with "real grace." I was just trying not to cry at my desk. The compliment made me realize my calm face was a complete lie. Felt like getting an award for best performance in a meltdown.
Ugh yeah that's the worst feeling. I started telling one close friend when I'm actually not okay, even if I look calm. It helps to have someone see past the mask.