That time my dad said 'you look tired' and I almost broke

I was at my parents' house for Sunday dinner last month, laughing through stories about my job while stirring the gravy. He caught me off guard in the kitchen and whispered 'you look tired, kiddo' - not mean, just noticing. Why is it that one person seeing through the act hits harder than a hundred people buying it?

3 comments

3 Comments

fiona_west211mo ago

I used to be the type who thought it was annoying when people said stuff like that, like why do you have to point out I look tired, I know I look tired. But then my sister said it to me last year at a bbq, just casually while we were flipping burgers, and it hit me different. She wasn't judging or trying to fix me, she was just seeing me for real. Now I get why it can crack you open, because it's someone actually paying attention, not just being polite.

marywilson1mo ago

And that's the thing, right? It's like we've all gotten so used to people saying stuff just to fill the air. "How are you?" doesn't mean anything anymore, it's just a noise we make. But when someone actually stops and sees you, without trying to sell you something or fix you or make you feel better about yourself, it's almost weird. It's like we've forgotten that's even a thing people do. That's why it hits so hard when it happens. It breaks through all the automatic small talk we use to keep each other at arm's length.

laura_schmidt821mo ago

Did you read that Atlantic piece about how being truly seen is the closest we get to being loved?