The company picnic handshake that made me drop my work persona

I used to show up to office events with that polished, agreeable version of myself. You know, the one who laughs at the boss's jokes and volunteers to organize the potluck. Then last June at the annual picnic in Riverside Park, my coworker Donna came up to me while I was grilling burgers. She said, "You look like you're carrying the whole break room on your shoulders," and I froze. I realized I had been doing this act for 18 years, ever since my first job at the hardware store where my manager told me to "keep it light" during inventory audits. Now I just tell people I'm tired or that I need a minute to sit down. It's not dramatic, but it's honest. Has anyone else hit that moment where you just can't fake the cheerful part anymore? What did you do about it?

2 comments

2 Comments

quinncarr1mo ago

Notice how everyone does this at family dinners too, we all put on a face for the potatoes.

milarodriguez1mo ago

I read a study once that said most people spend about 30% of their waking hours at work pretending to be someone they're not. That stuck with me because it sounds crazy when you say it out loud. I remember reading about how burnout is basically the cost of keeping up that act every day. When I finally stopped forcing the "sunny and helpful" routine at work, a few people got weird about it at first. But the weirdness faded and I felt a lot less tired at the end of the week. The burgers probably taste better when you're not clenching your jaw over the grill, too.

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