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Warning: I picked the fake smile at my dad's 70th birthday dinner, and I'm still not okay with it
My dad turned 70 in March. We did dinner at this little Italian place in Columbus, maybe 15 of us crammed around two tables pushed together.
Two weeks before that, I got laid off. Third round at my company. I didn't tell a single person in my family. My mom had been planning this dinner for months and I wasn't about to drop a bomb on it.
So my choices were: tell everyone and let it hang over the whole night, or keep my mouth shut and play the happy son.
I picked the second one. Smiled for every picture. Gave the toast. Laughed at my uncle's same three jokes. My mom kept telling me how proud Dad looked that everyone came.
Then I drove home alone and sat in my car in the parking lot for like 40 minutes before I went inside.
The thing is, I don't know if I made the right call. My brother pulled me aside near the end and said 'you seem off tonight' and I just said I was tired. He looked at me for a second and let it go.
Part of me thinks I robbed myself of support I actually needed. Other part thinks one night isn't about me.
Has anyone picked the happy face over the real one for a family thing like this? How did it sit with you after?
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