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A stranger in line at the grocery store changed how I talk to my kids

I used to be the parent who would ask my son, 'What did you learn at school today?' every single afternoon. He'd just shrug and say 'stuff'. It was a dead end. Then, about six months ago, I was in line at the store in Portland, and the woman behind me saw my son, who was maybe four at the time, staring at the gum. She leaned down and said, 'Hey, what's the funniest thing you saw all day?' His whole face lit up and he launched into a story about a squirrel stealing a kid's cookie at the park. That was it. I stopped asking the big, boring questions. Now I ask for the funniest thing, the weirdest sound, or the coolest rock he found. I get real stories now, not shrugs. Has anyone else had a simple question flip a switch like that?
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4 Comments
william_garcia
Man, it's crazy how small talk can be so much better than big questions.
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murphy.aaron
My last small talk was about weather apps.
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mia700
mia7002mo ago
Saw a kid at the library last week trying to tell his dad about a book. The dad just kept asking what the lesson was. Kid totally shut down. Made me remember asking my niece what made her mad at recess instead of if she had fun. Got a ten minute story about someone not sharing the good swing. Specific, weird questions are the only way to get past the one word answers.
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seth_shah
seth_shah1mo ago
The specific and weird questions always get the best answers.
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