My brother called me out for always saying 'I'm fine'

Last Tuesday my little brother just flat out asked me why I always say I'm fine when clearly I'm not. We were sitting in his kitchen in Austin after he made me drive 3 hours to help him move a couch. He said 'you've said I'm fine four times since you walked in and your jaw is all tight.' I didn't even realize I was doing it. He told me my 'fine' is like a wall I throw up so nobody asks the next question. It hit different because he wasn't mad he just looked tired of watching me pretend. Now I catch myself every time I say it and it makes me squirm. Has anyone else had someone close call them out on a habit you didn't even know you had?

3 comments

3 Comments

michaeltorres24d ago

Your brother sounds like a real one for that. My girlfriend did the exact same thing to me last year over tacos at this hole in the wall place we go to. She said my "I'm fine" sounds like a robot that ran out of batteries. It stung bad in the moment but now I catch myself clenching my jaw too and it's honestly the most helpful thing anyone has done for me. That squirm feeling is just your brain learning a new trick.

jenny4724d ago

Isn't it amazing how something that stings in the moment becomes such a gift later on? I read a bit about this in a psychology article once that said people who are close to us are basically our emotional mirrors they see what we're too busy to notice. I can definitely see what michaeltorres is saying about that robot voice. My wife has a habit of tapping my arm when I go quiet and she knows that means I'm shutting down. It's like bennett.evan said about people seeing your tells before you do. That squirm is just your brain recognizing the pattern it's been running forever.

bennett.evan24d ago

Nah, that's real growth right there. It's funny how the people closest to you see your tells before you do, isn't it?