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Hot take: I realized I've been giving my kid the wrong kind of praise for years.
My son's 5th grade teacher in Denver pulled me aside after a project and said, 'You keep telling him he's so smart, but he's starting to avoid hard tasks.' I always thought calling him smart built confidence, but now I see it might make him scared to fail. Should I switch to only praising effort, or is some 'you're smart' feedback still okay?
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max_torres448d ago
Oh man, that teacher is totally right.
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diana6179d ago
Ever notice how kids shut down when something doesn't come easy? That teacher is spot on. Ditch the "smart" talk completely and praise the specific effort you see, like "I saw you kept trying different ways to solve that math problem." It rebuilds their guts to tackle hard stuff.
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knight.dylan8d ago
Totally get this. I was that kid who thought being "smart" meant getting it right away. Hit a tough algebra problem in 9th grade and just gave up for a week because I thought my brain was broken. Took a teacher pointing out that I'd actually written down three different starting steps to make me see the trying part was the whole point. Felt way better to hear that than any empty "you're so bright" comment.
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