My last agency job in Chicago had a style guide that basically required robot speak. We had to use phrases like "optimize operational efficiency" instead of "make things work better." I actually think @corablack gets it, that kind of writing is a hard habit to break. Sometimes you need that formal voice for certain clients or industries. The Austin client isn't wrong, but blunt feedback can make you throw out the good with the bad. A simple edit is usually better than a full rewrite into casual talk.
My buddy had a client tell him his website bio sounded like a corporate press release. The line was something like "implementing synergistic solutions" and the client just laughed and said it was total nonsense. He was pretty embarrassed at first, but he rewrote the whole thing to just say what he actually does for people. Said it was the best feedback he ever got, even though it stung in the moment.
That corporate jargon is the worst. It's like a secret code for "I have no idea what I'm talking about." Good on your buddy for taking the feedback. Straight talk always wins.