Can we talk about how everyone tries to 'fix' someone else's problem instead of just listening?

3 comments

3 Comments

Oh man, I feel this so hard lmao. @tara642 you're right that the whole "just listen" thing can feel hollow sometimes, but I've learned the hard way that jumping straight to solutions usually backfires. What I do now is just ask "do you want me to listen or do you want ideas?" before I say anything else. That little question has saved me so many awkward conversations where I'm trying to fix something nobody asked me to fix. It took me a while to realize that people just want to feel heard first before they even care about a solution. So yeah, both sides have a point but the trick is just reading the room and asking first.

tara6421mo ago

People always say that but sometimes fixing is actually listening. When my friend tells me about a problem with their landlord I can sit there and nod or I can say "hey I know a form you can file" which is way more helpful in the long run. Just listening feels empty to me, like you're not really paying attention. The whole "don't fix just listen" thing sounds nice but in real life people actually want solutions most of the time. I think there's a middle ground where you ask first if they want advice or just to vent.

cole_baker1mo ago

Your buddy with the landlord issue, did they actually get mad when you suggested that form or were they cool with it? I'm curious if some people just hate hearing solutions no matter how good they are.