My hidden turn on asking for help

I always thought admitting I was stuck on a job showed weakness. Watching a buddy burn out made me see it's smart to reach out, but I still never do. What's something you know you should share but keep inside?

4 comments

4 Comments

angela_knight34d ago

Realized I was just like @west.seth, always pretending I had it all together. For me, the big change came when I started seeing asking for help as a skill, not a weakness. I practiced by first asking for small things, like feedback on a draft or help moving a couch. That made it easier to admit when I was totally stuck on a big project. Now I actually feel stronger because I'm not carrying everything alone. What was the first small ask that made a difference for you?

the_zara4d ago

How long did it take you to stop feeling like a total fraud when you asked? My first real ask was so dumb, I had to get a screwdriver from a neighbor and I gave this whole backstory about why my own was missing. Angela's point about starting small is huge, cause after that I felt like I'd already blown my cover so asking for actual help got way easier. I went from that to admitting I needed a tutor for stats class, which was a big deal for my ego.

mark_garcia744d ago

My mom still brings up the time I called her at 28 to ask for fifty bucks until payday. That was my version of the screwdriver, and I made up this whole story about a bank error. Once I got past how dumb I felt, asking my boss for an extension on a report felt way less scary. It really is like a muscle you have to work out with those tiny asks first.

west.seth4d ago

Man, yeah. I used to hide when I was in over my head too, just pretend everything was fine. It feels so much better to just admit it, but it's hard to make that first ask.