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My uncle in Tacoma said nobody at his funeral will mention his job, and it's been bugging me for 3 weeks
I was at my uncle's place in Tacoma helping him fix a fence when he said it. He's 67, worked 41 years at the same warehouse, and out of nowhere he goes, 'When I die, not one person is gonna stand up and talk about how good I was at loading trucks.' I laughed it off at first but then he listed off what he thinks people will actually say. He named three things: how he showed up to every one of his kid's games, the garden he keeps, and the way he checks on his neighbor who lives alone. I haven't been able to shake it for 3 weeks now. I keep looking at my own list and it's all job stuff. Has anyone else had a family member say something like this that just sat with you?
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valpalmer11d ago
My dad did something like this a few years back, not at a fence but over a beer. He told me he wanted his headstone to just say "he was kind" and nothing about his 30 years at the phone company. That one stuck with me too, and what helped was actually writing stuff down. I made a little list of the things I do that have nothing to do with work, like coaching my kid's soccer team and calling my mom every Sunday, and just seeing it on paper made me feel less weird about it. Your uncle sounds like a solid guy, and honestly the fact that you're still chewing on this 3 weeks later says something about you too. Maybe next time you see him, tell him you've been thinking about that list, I bet he'd get a kick out of it.
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