Burned myself on a friendship over a $15 loan that turned into a 6 month problem

I lent a friend $15 for gas in March 2023. By September, she still hadn't paid me back and started dodging my texts. I finally asked her directly at a coffee shop in Portland and she said I was being petty over pocket change. That was the last time I talked to her. The money wasn't the point, it was the way she acted like I was the bad guy for wanting what was mine. Has anyone else lost a relationship over a small amount of cash that blew up way bigger than it should have?

3 comments

3 Comments

rose_reed9h agoMost Upvoted

She was banking on you feeling too awkward to bring it up again.

rubyk268h ago

So you're saying we should just let people walk all over us because it's easier? Nah, being direct is way better in the long run. If someone screws you over and you don't call them out, they'll just do it again to you or someone else. Plus, it's not even that awkward if you handle it right. You just gotta say "hey, remember when you said you'd do this thing?" and let them answer. That puts the ball in their court and makes them explain themselves. It's way more awkward for the person who did something wrong than for the person calling it out.

rose_reed5h agoMost Upvoted

Start treating it like a business deal next time. Write a quick text the next day saying "hey, no rush but just to circle back on that $15" and leave it at that. If they get defensive after that, then you know it's not about the money, it's about respect.