Had to choose between my brother's wedding and my best friend's chemo appointment

Both events were on the SAME Saturday last November. My brother got married in Phoenix and my best friend had a big chemo session in Denver after her cancer came back. I picked flying to Denver. My brother didn't talk to me for 4 months after that. But my friend made it through that round and we spent the day watching dumb movies between her treatments. Has anyone else had to pick between family and a friend in a crisis? How did you handle the fallout?

3 comments

3 Comments

ruby_jones18d ago

The real question nobody is asking is why your brother scheduled his wedding on the same day as a chemo session he knew about. Like he had a calendar, he had a choice, and he picked that date. You didn't pick between two equal things, you picked between a person who needed you and a person who wanted you there for a party. Your brother chose to be mad for four months, that was his choice too. Your friend couldn't choose to not have cancer that day. That says everything about who actually deserved your time.

michaeld4818d ago

Fair enough but the brother might have had a real reason for that date, like venue availability or family travel plans. Skipping one chemo session is common and many patients do it for important life events without it changing the outcome. The friend deserved support, sure, but acting like the brother had zero valid reasons is assuming a lot you don't know.

dakotab9318d ago

Oh man, I gotta push back on this a little bit because I see it differently. I get what you're saying about venue availability and family travel plans, @michaeld48, but the chemo schedule is usually set way in advance for a reason, and skipping it is not always as simple as people think. The friend could have literally died or gotten way worse if that treatment was delayed, and the brother just had a party that could have been moved. I'm not saying the brother had zero reasons, but having a reason doesn't automatically make it a good one when you're weighing it against someone's health and life.