My dad's advice about cutting off my college roommate backfired hard

My dad told me to just ghost my roommate after she stole my $200 security deposit in Austin... I thought he was being smart. But then she started spreading rumors about me to our mutual friends, and I lost like 6 people from my circle. Turns out having a calm conversation and airing things out would've saved me a lot of grief. Has anyone else had family give you advice that made your burned bridges situation worse?

3 comments

3 Comments

taylor.reese1mo ago

A friend of mine got similar bad advice once and it backfired too. What actually worked for me was just sitting them down one on one, keeping my voice calm and not getting defensive. Way easier to fix things before they spiral into he said/she said territory.

wren6381mo ago

Yeah my buddy Jake had the same thing happen with his roommate. He tried that group chat method too and it just made everyone pick sides. What finally worked was Jake just asking his roommate to grab a beer and saying "hey man I think we got our wires crossed" real casual. Within like 10 minutes they figured out the whole thing was just a dumb misunderstanding about whose turn it was to buy toilet paper.

lindag331mo ago

Jake's beer trick worked because he kept it low stakes. Your approach sounds solid too. Group chats always blow up because people type stuff they'd never say in person. The one thing I'd tweak is the "keeping my voice calm" part. Sometimes when you focus too much on sounding calm, you come across as fake or patronizing. Better to just be honest about being annoyed but still willing to talk it through. Like "Hey that thing yesterday rubbed me wrong, but I'm sure it wasn't on purpose." That gets the real issue out without all the careful acting.