Friend told me I was keeping things 'just in case' not 'just because I needed them'

4 comments

4 Comments

Man that's a rough thing to hear from a friend lol. Honestly though, sometimes we all need that reality check even if it stings a bit.

-1

emmaclark1mo ago

Have you tried writing down exactly what they said and sitting with it for a day before reacting? I know it sounds basic, but I've been in that spot where a friend's honesty felt more like a gut punch than helpful advice. The trick is to separate the delivery from the message (which is harder than it sounds, trust me). Once I cooled off, I realized they were pointing out a pattern I kept ignoring, like how I'd always bail on plans last minute. Maybe ask your friend if they can give you a specific example of what they mean. That way you can actually work on it instead of just guessing what they're getting at.

simonp761mo ago

Whoa hold on, I gotta push back a little here. Not everyone's "honest feedback" is actually worth taking to heart, you know? Sometimes friends just project their own issues onto you and call it "brutal honesty" to make themselves feel better. I've seen people get dragged down by taking criticism from someone who doesn't really understand their situation. Not saying that's what happened here, but it's worth thinking about whether this friend has your best interests at heart or if they just like being the one who "tells it like it is.

paige33128d ago

Wait, didn't I read somewhere that the way people give feedback says more about them than the person they're talking to? Like there was this whole study about how people who give "brutally honest" feedback actually have lower emotional intelligence or something? I swear I saw a breakdown on this from a psychology blog and it made so much sense. It kinda tracks with what you're saying simon, sometimes people just use honesty as an excuse to be mean without actually trying to help. So yeah, you gotta look at the source and what their real deal is before you let their words get in your head.